Saturday, May 31, 2014

Kinda like....another kid

We had reason to recall recently, the scared shitless slightly comical situation whereby I had a positive pregnancy test result on the morning of my amputation surgery (pregnancy testing is routine / mandatory for women of child-bearing age prior to surgeries).   Thankfully, the test turned out to be a false-positive, but for about an hour....while waiting for confirmation of the blood test....we spoke of mother nature's sick sense of humor.    Frequently when asked how we'd feel to be "blessed" with another child, my standard response has been "Our two are kind of a handful...more than enough work for a gimpy mom and two ADHD-inclined parents.  So, no thank you.  We're good."

Oddly, over the last couple of weeks  it has occurred to me just how much my leg situation IS very
much like having another child.  Yes....a very consuming, energy-draining, high-maintenance and often colicky little turd that acts up at the most inopportune times.   

Take for example, schlepping around the eternal diaper bag.   Yup....carrying what I call my leg stash (a bag containing: prosthetic ointment [eg. Desitin], spray bottle of water/alcohol [for donning / doffing the liner], allen wrench [on-the-go foot adjustments], an array of various ply's of socks [volume fluctuations throughout the day...socks are necessary], pieces of moleskin to help with occasional socket trouble-spots, a cloth, and rubber gloves [ointment gets slimy and messy at times, and hand-washing facilities are not always nearby.].)  What do we do when our colicky little one needs a changing?   Find a bathroom, inconspicuous corner, or out-of-the-way place to take care of business....preferably with the least amount of attention possible.    Let's face it, no one likes to witness a foul-smelling diaper change or a leg-ointment application. 

Every morning....the dreaded routines (bottles, formula, diaper changes, etc.) take some time.....and it is time where you wish you could be doing something else, right?   The whole leg thing is similar....and while the leg does "mature" (relatively speaking), it will never outgrow this morning / evening ritual or become fully self-sufficient.  

We like to look back on our "pre-children" days, and will frequently comment that we used to be the kind of folks who were punctual.   Either we would be a couple minutes early, right on-time, or "fashionably late."  Everyone knows that children throw a monkey wrench into the deal, but a colicky stump is something most folks would have no idea about.   (....things like sweat, dietary and temperature changes will do it, as well as over-doing it, which I am prone to doing.  Guess I'm stubborn.).   It is not uncommon for the fam to wait because "mommy has to sock-up" or adjust a fit. 

The oldest child is typically the one to help out with the responsibilities of the new baby in the family, right?   Well, I guess Jade has lived up to that one too, as she'll often yell to me from another room, "Mommy, do you want me to bring you your leg?"  Luckily we laugh about these oddities.  I mean, what kind of parent asks their kids to fetch their body parts anyway?  

While all of these issues amount to being a pain-in-the-arsh at worst,   At best, I'm able to walk around, hike, swim, climb and enjoy a much better quality of life.  (Running is a longer-term goal)  I
knew that there would be frustrations at the outset and that I should expect a 6-month to one year adjustment period.   Thankfully, I think I'm ahead of the curve on this one....which is great.   It is nice to know I'm done with medical stuff and moving on with a new normal.  
Yes, I'm nursing this infant-limb which is going through all kids of changes, but life is good.   We're moving ahead!