The Cool Folks You Meet...

A few weeks ago, my daughter asked:  "Mommy, is it fun being an amputee?"   After chuckling for a moment with a raised eyebrow in utter disbelief that she'd ask such a question, I gathered my thoughts and replied:  "Um...I wouldn't exactly call it fun.  But I guess there are parts that are:  You get to pick out the kind of foot you want, you can pick out cool patterns to laminate into your socket, and oh....we get to meet so many really interesting people."    "Yeah....that's what I mean."  Jade said... "It's neat to meet all kinds of cool people who do such amazing things."   

So I have pondered that comment frequently......and, when I'm in a space where I'm frustrated for some reason (which happens a lot, believe me)  I think about all of the awesome relationships and experiences I am collecting.   Pretty damn cool.  

DWTS' and snowboarding paralympian, Amy Purdy,
Accomplished para- climber, Ronnie Dickson, and moi.at
Prosthetic and Orthotic Associates

I am down at Prosthetic and Orthotic Associates this week for a new socket (I am the "incredible shrinking woman"....at least in my prosthetic socket.).  It just so-happened that Amy Purdy (from Dancing With the Stars) was also here yesterday and today having some adjustments done.   We ended up having some cool discussions about keeping a positive attitude, how to walk around on the toes of a swim-foot, and expectations with limb-shrinkage as a BK amputee.   She really is quite the lady, with lots of interesting developments on the horizon....one of them, writing a book.   The casual atmosphere at POA is great for just sitting around and chatting about all kinds of things, which is really important.

 

Ronnie Dickson works at POA as a prosthetist, and is also an awesome climber.   He's an AK (above-knee) amputee who I had connected with initially when looking for information about climbing in a prosthesis.  As I began to share my various prosthetic frustrations with him, he encouraged me to come to POA because of the incredible work they do in an expedited fashion, as well as their great track-record with highly active and tough-to-fit amputees.    When I got to POA and began to meet all of the people, the energy was palpable.    Dozens of amputees, all with amazing stories.....some with prosthetics, some crutching or wheeling around, hanging out in the same space just getting to know each other.   A "bonus" is the fact that a lot of the prosthetists at POA are themselves, amputees....so they get it.  A healthy, good-natured banter abounds, and folks are constantly sharing about how they love their jobs.    It's the atmosphere their CEO, Stan has created and fostered....and really works.

 

It has been very neat to see a lot of the researching and efforts I put time into while recovering, finally coming to fruition (I was the research-demon on the net while on bedrest!  I guess while my body was laid-up, the brain worked overtime).   The Trauma Survivor's Network has partnered with Froedtert Hospital, and a peer support visitation / support program is being implemented.  We currently have four very cool survivors of trauma on-board (me being one of them) who will finish up training this summer and launch the program within the month.   Pretty exciting!   We are starting up a climbing program in partnership with Adventure Rock and Adaptive Adventures, and will have a climbing wall at the Milwaukee Adaptive Sports and Recreation Expo on July 26th.  I've connected up with the folks at Paradox Sports in CO for some good advice on starting a climbing program in our area as well.   We are lucky to have the support of the Director of Clinical Services in the Physical Therapy Dept. at Carroll University, who has decided to weave-in the idea of educating her students in the power of using adaptive sports and recreation as part of the rehabilitation process (I had the pleasure of sharing [through the lens of understanding recovery to be a "mind/body/spirit" experience] with her graduate class last month, and will again in the fall.)  Luckily, these students will learn first-hand the power of connecting through physical activity and adventure sports. 

 

In all of these experiences I have met the most interesting, colorful, fascinating people, and the experience has been so enriching.   

 

So, when I grumble about how frustrating it is to have undergone 2+ years of atrophy and various levels of deconditioning, how I miss the ease at which I used to get out of bed in the morning, or how I hate to pour sweat out of my liner (which happens in the summer....pretty gross), I pause to remember that I'm part of an awesome group of soulful survivors, which is pretty cool.     



 



Kinda like....another kid

We had reason to recall recently, the scared shitless slightly comical situation whereby I had a positive pregnancy test result on the morning of my amputation surgery (pregnancy testing is routine / mandatory for women of child-bearing age prior to surgeries).   Thankfully, the test turned out to be a false-positive, but for about an hour....while waiting for confirmation of the blood test....we spoke of mother nature's sick sense of humor.    Frequently when asked how we'd feel to be "blessed" with another child, my standard response has been "Our two are kind of a handful...more than enough work for a gimpy mom and two ADHD-inclined parents.  So, no thank you.  We're good."

Oddly, over the last couple of weeks  it has occurred to me just how much my leg situation IS very

much like having another child.  Yes....a very consuming, energy-draining, high-maintenance and often colicky little turd that acts up at the most inopportune times.   

Take for example, schlepping around the eternal diaper bag.   Yup....carrying what I call my leg stash (a bag containing: prosthetic ointment [eg. Desitin], spray bottle of water/alcohol [for donning / doffing the liner], allen wrench [on-the-go foot adjustments], an array of various ply's of socks [volume fluctuations throughout the day...socks are necessary], pieces of moleskin to help with occasional socket trouble-spots, a cloth, and rubber gloves [ointment gets slimy and messy at times, and hand-washing facilities are not always nearby.].)  What do we do when our colicky little one needs a changing?   Find a bathroom, inconspicuous corner, or out-of-the-way place to take care of business....preferably with the least amount of attention possible.    Let's face it, no one likes to witness a foul-smelling diaper change or a leg-ointment application. 

Every morning....the dreaded routines (bottles, formula, diaper changes, etc.) take some time.....and it is time where you wish you could be doing something else, right?   The whole leg thing is similar....and while the leg does "mature" (relatively speaking), it will never outgrow this morning / evening ritual or become fully self-sufficient.  

We like to look back on our "pre-children" days, and will frequently comment that we used to be the kind of folks who were punctual.   Either we would be a couple minutes early, right on-time, or "fashionably late."  Everyone knows that children throw a monkey wrench into the deal, but a colicky stump is something most folks would have no idea about.   (....things like sweat, dietary and temperature changes will do it, as well as over-doing it, which I am prone to doing.  Guess I'm stubborn.).   It is not uncommon for the fam to wait because "mommy has to sock-up" or adjust a fit. 

The oldest child is typically the one to help out with the responsibilities of the new baby in the family, right?   Well, I guess Jade has lived up to that one too, as she'll often yell to me from another room, "Mommy, do you want me to bring you your leg?"  Luckily we laugh about these oddities.  I mean, what kind of parent asks their kids to fetch their body parts anyway?  

While all of these issues amount to being a pain-in-the-arsh at worst,   At best, I'm able to walk around, hike, swim, climb and enjoy a much better quality of life.  (Running is a longer-term goal)  I

knew that there would be frustrations at the outset and that I should expect a 6-month to one year adjustment period.   Thankfully, I think I'm ahead of the curve on this one....which is great.   It is nice to know I'm done with medical stuff and moving on with a new normal.  

 

Yes, I'm nursing this infant-limb which is going through all kids of changes, but life is good.   We're moving ahead! 

The AIT (Amputee in Training) Experience

We are entering our second week in Florida as part of our dual purpose trip:  Family vacation, and expedited custom leg fitting.   It has been an odd balancing act for sure.  

In regard to my prosthetic fitting, I knew that I would be in for a frustrating six months to one year, as all of the amputees I have talked with warned me that it would be an adjustment with fits and starts, peppered with a whole lot of adjustment and increasing doses of patience.   I'm not quite sure why I've got this tendency to always believe that through my sheer force of will I will be the exception to those expectations.   I can work my butt off, find the right resources, or gut through the difficult transitions more quickly and somehow be spared the ugly realities of the amputee experience.   

Don't get me wrong, for the most part my leg / ankle is pain-free. I have no problems with phantom pain, which can be bothersome and disabling.   I have every reason to believe that eventually I will be back to enjoying the active life I love.   However honestly, all sugar-coating aside.....the experience has been tough at times.

 It is Amputee Awareness Month, so I figured why not air some of the dirt that we as amputees experience.    Here goes: 

• Insurance hassles.   It's pretty obvious that folks need working limbs, right?   Well, unfortunately prosthetic coverage is one of the areas which falls through the cracks in terms of medical coverage.    The Amputee Coalition of America has initiated the Prosthetic Parity Bill, which aims to require fair health insurance access for amputees and provide a standard of care for prosthetic coverage.  It would be way cool to sign the petition asking senators and government reps to support this legislation.  Click HERE to support this effort, and if you do sign it, I'm sending a cyber-hug from the bottom of my heart on behalf amputees everywhere. This issue is huge.)  If you're interested in more advocacy, here's another petition:   Insurance Fairness Act for Amputees.
• Socket-fitting issues.   Probably one of the most challenging issues for a new amputee, if not THE biggest frustration.  I've learned that there is both an art and a science to prosthetic design, and it is critical to have a prosthetic provider which embodies the best practice possible in that regard.  The "right touch" combined with dedication and passion are critical in the relationship between patient and prosthetist, and folks are known to travel wherever necessary for that combination of attributes.   
• Shrinkage.  (No Seinfeld references here!) Within the first year all amputees undergo volume changes to their residual limb, which makes the fitting process a challenge (as well as continued documentation to insurance companies for those changes....see above.)
• Skin issues.   Like today.  I've got itchy red bumps on the back of my knee, likely due to a combination of having shaven earlier in the week and sweating under my liner.   They suck.  And its best to air out the leg to avoid aggravating the problem for a day or two, lest we complicate the problem.  Usually we hope to figure out the source of the problem (like shaving probably, in my case) and hope that this is part of the "leg adjustment" phase.
• Hairy Legs, baby!   Yup.... even in best-case scenarios, the little hair follicles scream "help me....I'm suffocating" under the silicone prosthetic liner.   So obviously, taking a razor to emerging hairs becomes even more problematic.   At some point I may attempt laser hair removal, but for now I get to be part Sasquatsch.  Oooo...sexy, hey?
• Sweat happens....and under the prosthetic liner, sweat becomes trapped.  Now consider that I am a 45 year old woman who is on the brink of menopause.....you get the idea.   After doing eight miles on the stationary bike a few weeks ago, I was able to gross out my entire family by pouring what appeared to be at least a tablespoon of sweat from my liner.  There are some solutions to consider (prescription deodorant, botox, and a specialized absorbent prosthetic sock), but for now I'm trying to see if my limb will just get used to it.
• The need to carry a stash of supplies (allen-wrench for the necessary emergency foot adjustments, extra prosthetic socks, prosthetic ointment and alcohol wipes, rag and other sundries)  at all times.  Ah....and don't forget the crutches for "bad leg days."  
• A subtle, creeping guilt complex about all that I'm not able to do, the excess crabbiness which comes from pent up ongoing frustration AND the inability to parent my kids in a more active fashion.  We're coming up on 2 1/2 years of  "wait and see", so this feeling is not unfamiliar.   I just want to feel like a fun, not-so-crabby mom again.  I would imagine that these are common feelings among parents who are caught in a similar situation.

Luckily, this AIT experience is not without its positive aspects!  Truthfully, it has been said over and over again that becoming an "amp" is like becoming part of a family.  Folks with limb loss obviously "get" one another, and share the experience on a deep level.  They can also offer support, guidance, practical tips, and understanding.....often with a twist of good natured humor.  (the only problem with the amputee family is that it is expensive....it'll cost an arm and a leg to get in.)  



Ali, Rebecca and I had a great time entertaining folks at Jimmy Johns,

obviously blending in with the crowd.  We drew no attention whatsoever!  ;)

It was awesome to connect with these gals to share laughs as well as

helpful advice.  While Ali and Rebecca are both AK (above-knee) amputees,

I learned a lot tips from them as the "new amp on the block."



I met Rebecca through a mutual friend in the blogosphere over a year

ago, and was totally surprised to meet her at Prosthetic and Orthotic Associates

in Orlando.  A very cool chance meeting!   Rebecca lives in Philadelphia

and blogs at:: A Thousand Miles .  Check it out...she's got an amazing story!

 The experience of peer-support and sharing is really important.   I found that it was incredibly uplifting to be able to share experiences, questions, challenges, and concerns....as well as our stories.  I am continually amazed by the people I meet with the most amazing stories.  (I plan to do another post on this later....so stay tuned!)  

All of the folks at Prosthetic and Orthotic Associates have a passion for their work, as well as helping amputees regain an active lifestyle.   Folks from all over the world come to POA because of their custom fabrication and incredible team approach to solving prosthetic challenges, which many of us face.   The family-like atmosphere and team approach works really well, because "many eyes" looking at a prosthetic fitting issue are better than only one set.   What is also very cool is that a lot of folks working at POA are amputees themselves, which have an intimate understanding of the experience. .



I first learned about POA from Ronnie Dickson (pictured here working on my leg.)

Ronnie is an amazing climber, prosthetist, and above-knee amputee who shares

a passion for adaptive climbing.   He's also an awesome, caring guy with a very cool dog.

You can learn more about Ronnie here:  http://xt-9.com/ronnie_dickson.html.  Ronnie is

also heading up the National Paraclimbing Competition coming up in July in Atlanta, GA,
which sounds very exciting.

  

Part of my rehab includes gait training on the Alter-G...

an anti-gravity treadmill.  It felt great to be walking with a pretty normal gait

at 75 percent of my body-weight, and it was cool to be able to watch

my stride on the monitor.



POA works with lots of kiddos.  Here, Jade and Kai pose for a pic with

Bella (second from right) and her family.  Bella was adopted from the same

province Kai is from.....and as you can see, she's super-cute!

We are hoping to move ahead to create my definitive socket within the next couple of days.  I have been wearing a series of check-sockets (see-through plastic sockets which are modified through the fitting process to ensure the best fit), and am looking forward to receiving my lighter, carbon-fiber permanent socket once the proper fit has been achieved.   I anticipate continued changes throughout the months ahead as my limb matures, but we are definitely off to a great start.  

Road Blocks

I never quite know what to say when folks tell me that I am a strong person or that I am an inspiration.  Truthfully, I've known myself for my whole life and do not find myself uniquely strong or inspiring.  Conversely, I tend to find myself more as just plain stubborn and determined, with the necessary thrust of human connection, peppered with a lot of grit and some occasional self-pity (okay, a lot of self-pity lately).  

Yeah, this week has been a rough one.  While I was forewarned to expect a year of frustration after my amputation, I did not expect that I would be this frustrated, confused and down about the whole thing.    It has been challenging to say the least.  

I was really psyched at the beginning of the week to finally be getting my prosthesis....for my "walking day," as it's generally called in the amputee community.   While I knew I would encounter some discomfort and mixed feelings,  I did NOT know that I would be forced to confront the fallout of my multiple traumatic injuries, as well as how they still impact the way in which my body continues to respond.   

One of the symptoms resulting from my pelvic fracture was a peroneal nerve injury.   The peroneal nerve originates at the base of the sacoiliac joint (as part of the sciatic nerve) and runs down the outside of the leg, around the edge of the fibula (outer leg bone), and over the foot, where it ends

between the first and second toe. (see pic at the right).  When I still had my foot, I could touch between my toes and it would be numb there...which was really no big deal, as I got used to it and it really did not affect me much.   I also had, and continue to experience a lingering numbness along the outside of my thigh, which turns into a tingling sensation when I press on the top side of my calf-muscle.   Again, no big deal......that is, unless you're trying to fit a prosthetic socket. 

Earlier this week while my prosthetist and I were trying to work on getting a comfortable fit in my socket, I felt a shooting pain across the outside of my shin.  I pointed to a small lump which seemed to be the culprit.....and was informed that what I have is called a neuroma.     Neuromas can present quite a challenge when fitting a prosthetic socket, as the pressure put upon them when bearing weight can cause significant pain and cramping.   Needless to say, my hopes to be up-and-walking came to a standstill, because at this point the socket is too painful to wear.   On Monday we  are going to start over with a new check-socket and see if it is possible to make a few adjustments to accommodate the neuroma.  If it still continues to be problematic despite multiple attempts at socket corrections, steroid injections can be attempted, as well as surgery to transect and bury the neuroma deeper into the muscle tissue closer to the bone.    Obviously, the last thing I want is another surgery.....so fingers are crossed that we find a better solution.  

I guess that  this is where I am humbled and reminded that the human body has its own logic, and no sheer force of will can change that.  I have been pretty concerned and worried....as I've obviously been looking forward to getting my life back.   It is sometimes hard to trust when one experiences setback after setback, or to catastrophize and think that I'll never be walking again.   So I try to get scrappy and educate myself about all of my options, as well as connect with others who share similar struggles.   Still, there are days where it is just plain hard. 

Still Searching for "Normal"

I think the most difficult part of this experience is the length of time it is taking to regain some sense of normalcy.   I want so much to be in a good head-space for my kids and family, but find myself feeling sad as I sit back and watch them participating in the fun stuff I would love to be doing.   I also find that my patience is lacking, as well as the joy I used to feel on a regular basis as a very active person.  I guess my energy tank is running on low, and the long hard winter has compounded the arduousness of the journey.    Usually at this time of the year we would be making plans to camp, hike and travel....as the snow melts away and we prepare for increased time spent outdoors.  Unfortunately at this juncture we are unable to plan with much certainty, which is tough.    Luckily, my tough German temperament pushes me onward....as I kick myself in the butt to stay as active as I can be, and surrounded by good people.  I try to find joy in the small things, such as richness of conversation with friends, holding my kids on my lap, watching the birds come to our feeder, getting in a good swim, or listening to my cat purr as I scratch him under the chin.  (I do this to my husband too sometimes, but he doesn't purr....).

Somewhere in the back of my mind I know that this will not last forever.  And I look around to see all that I have been blessed with.  I am thankful that through all of this, my children are learning how to be helpful, how to be compassionate, and how to press on through difficulty.   Of course, they are also learning new skills, such as how to throw their snow-covered clothes into the dryer and how to empty the dishwasher!   I look forward to some exciting goals on the horizon.....and try to embrace the understanding that these things happen in their own time, which may be outside of my
control.  (I can be so impatient!)

....and we continue taking things one. day. at. a. time.    

Live Woman Walkin' (well, sort of)

Today I received my check socket and took my first steps in a prosthesis.   All of the amputees I've talked to have mentioned the fitting process as being the most frustrating part of the experience.   We spent three hours working on trying to get the fit right.....and this process is likely to continue for several months.

 

At this point I am able to walk for a very short while, and still have some pain in the anterior part of my tibia (bottom of my shin bone).  We will continue to work on this (ie., I will communicate my experience w/ my prosthetist and he will make needed changes).

 

(The video above was taken after some modifications, including a change-out of the foot.)

I guess this is how it goes....one step at a time.  

 

Patience grasshopper.............



A Day In The Life: Update #4

Haven't updated in a while.....seems I've had a case of good old-fashion writer's block.  There's probably a good reason behind that.   I've been doing a lot of hanging out and waiting, which honestly has been pretty boring.   Admittedly, life has been quite different being Madame Gimpsalot...sans leg until hopefully later this week....

...Hence, I thought I'd write about a typical "day in the life."  

As I am awakened at 7:00, I am lucky to have my Prince Charming bring a cup of coffee to my bedside.   Interestingly, I still dream that I've got all limbs intact and am running around like a kid, so the first brief moments after awakening can be somewhat of a reality-check.   It takes a good fifteen minutes for my coffee to kick-in which is pretty necessary as my morning jump-start.   Unfortunately I can't hop around with my hot coffee in-hand, so after I slurp it down, I ask one of my little hoodlums to bring my cup down to the kitchen...where I get on my knee scooter to ready the kids for school while gulping down cup #2.

While the knee scooter is better than crutches, it is still a pain.  I've run over my cats' tails more than once, as well as my kids' backpacks, jackets and mittens as they lay scattered across the kitchen floor.   And forget about doing anything quickly.....something as easy as last-minute homework folder retrieval from the living room couch can be quite an ordeal.  

Initially I used crutches up and down the stairs, but now I four-wheel it.  Much quicker, although I've earned a seemingly permanent rug burn on my right knee as a result.   Getting around in this way is strangely akin to climbing, believe it or not, as I continuously scan my environment for "holds" to grab on to to transition from standing to kneeling or sitting, and vice-versa. 

Maybe no one will notice???
I need to admit it is very tempting to avoid going out in public sans-leg.    The attention is weird and I prefer to avoid it.  However, those who know me well know how much I abhor being inactive.   I've needed to swallow my pride, suck-it-up and get my gimpy butt to the gym...regardless of how much I hate the gawking.  Without fail, I always feel so much more alive after pushing myself and getting in a good swim (...and I'm slowly figuring out how not to swim in circles!  :) ).       

Of course, people are very curious and full of questions. The hardest ones to answer are probably the questions where folks don't know my history but are really curious.   Those obviously take a longer time to answer and I need to do a fair amount of educating.   Heck, I never knew that some fractured bones don't heal well, so how would other people know?   Most of us believe that bones heal by simply slapping on a cast for a while....and suddenly voila, all better, right? 

....And while I'm okay with this amputation thing (really...it is so much easier than hauling around a painful, useless ankle), I find a lot of people are sad and perplexed about it.  Oddly, I need to do a fair amount of consoling to those who don't understand how a person would "choose" amputation.....and usually this is done by raving about the advances in the prosthetic industry.  Pointing to examples of accomplished amputee athletes usually does the trick.   

Speaking of prosthetics, my fingers are crossed that this Wednesday will be my "walking day."  I was casted last Friday for the fabrication of my check-socket (a temporary socket which can be modified as my limb changes shape and / or atrophies).  I have a fair amount of volume in my residual limb (the PC version of "stump," although most amputees are quite comfortable w/ the word.   I find "stump" to be a tad masculine sounding, and prefer to use stumpette.  Lol...  :) ).   The remaining musculature in the distal end tends to be larger than is typical, making"doffing" (taking off of) the prosthesis a potential challenge.  We will know on Wednesday if this is an issue or not.  If it is, my prosthetist has an idea or two.....but that might delay things a bit. 

 

I've known from the advice of other amputees to expect lots of frustrations and challenges, so this is not surprising.   Of course, we always hope to be surprised that things go more smoothly than planned, don't we?    

 

I continue keep in mind that this experience beats additional trial-and-error surgeries, and that I am still much closer to being able to run around with my kids than I would have been, had I continued to keep trying to fix the dang thing.   With the weather steadily improving, I am still hopeful that I'll be up and walking by the end of the month.  (I'll need to put running off for a bit....just trying to be realistic.)

 

About a year ago I read the book Daring Greatly, by Brene' Brown, which is based on the following quote from Theodore Roosevelt's speech:

 

THE MAN IN THE ARENA Exerpt from "Citizenship In A Republic" delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on April 23, 1910. 

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,  

because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions;  

who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.

In truth, it has felt like nearly 2 1/2 years of daring greatly, with a rollercoaster of surgeries and recoveries behind me.   It has been so tempting to look for excuses (It's too cold, I don't want people to stare,  I'm too tired, etc.), but I have tried to keep my head held high and continue forging on...sometimes, while gritting my teeth or ending the day in a lump of exhaustion. 

At present, I'm feeling oddly like a penned-up horse waiting for the gates to open.   It has been a very, very long time since I have walked or run without significant pain and effort.   I am excited to move into this next chapter, as the snow melts away and we begin to embrace growth and new life......   I'm more than ready.

BRING IT ON!

S0....what do they DO with the limb? (more interesting little-known facts)

Believe it or not, folks in my type of situation (undergoing what is typically called "delayed" or "elective" amputation) have the luxury and freedom of exercising some ownership over what happens with our amputated body part(s).   Conversely, when people undergo amputation after initial trauma (when timing is of-the-essence), where there is an infection or suspicion of contamination, the protocol is to send the entire limb directly to pathology before it goes to the incinerator.

I never really thought about it....(where amputated limbs go) until looking into this whole ordeal myself.  Trust me, it is a very strange experience.

At first I asked my little piggies which market they would like to go to, but none of them could agree on the same place.   Of course, the biggest one wanted to go to the market, but, as typical second siblings can be, the next really wanted to stay home.   After much deliberation I eventually came to an executive decision for all of them...but this required a lot of research on my part.  I tended to side with piggie #2 initially, but unfortunately, the prospects for bringing them home were not optimal..  

Our needing to travel was probably the biggest hurdle in attempting to come to a good plan for keeping the pigs, and I did believe it was pretty important for them to stay together.   (they're very connected and have always been extremely close....sometimes needing to endure extreme conditions that stunk, literally.)  Still, I learned that bringing them home would be a challenge...sigh.

Option #1: Crematamous de Parte
I did know of two women who decided to have their limbs cremated after their amputations.   This required some leg-work beforehand (no pun intended), eg., hooking up with a crematorium, settling on a cost, having the limb delivered, picking out a receptacle / vase, etc.  One woman shared that she needed to do some haggling over the cost, as a basic "human body" cremation typically runs around $2000.   Eventually the haggling came down to weight in lbs., and an amount was settled upon based on the weight of a 12 lb pet (coming to about $285).    Still, running (or limping) around haggling with funeral-dudes did not thrill me.  Neither did the prospect of keeping a vase of foot ashes on my dresser or the mantle.   

Option #2:  PediMortis vs. Appendigeous Insectus
 In discussion with the office staff prior to my surgery, I learned that there have been times when folks were given their amputated bones back.....completely intact after the soft-tissues were gotten off somehow (I wasn't sure how this was done.)   Really??  I asked....."So I can take my leg/foot home with me, bones and all?  From a curiosity perspective that would be really cool."   Yup....sure enough, I was told that I would basically need to inform the medical team of my desire to have the bones back, and that there would be some paperwork to fill out after the surgery.   I became excited about this possibility, mainly to see just how messed up my ankle was from a three-dimensional perspective (and it sounded more attractive than cremation).  

So on the morning of my surgery I brought this up ....and the Physician Assistant affirmed that lots of folks have taken home their amputated limbs.   "You can take the whole thing home if you want." She said.  "What?"  I asked... " Really...the whole ankle/foot....with the skin, bones, and all?  You're serious? What do people do with them?"  "They mainly store them in the freezer and stuff."  She answered.  "Wow...." I replied, "I bet that would totally freak out the airport security folks when they check my suitcase!   Mmmm, probably not the best idea." We agreed.    Although  frequently I stop to wonder if we might have had a total blast with the idea of flying my decomposing leg home in a suitcase. (My Criminal Minds / CSI friends will appreciate this sentiment). 

 I then mentioned the comment from the office staff, and asked about the possibility of getting my

bones back.  The PA said "Oh yeah....we have a place called Skulls Unlimited which can do that for you if you'd like.  I've even seen one guy have his foot mounted."   "Mounted?"  I asked....as in taxidermy mounted?"   "Yup....." (I pictured my Uncle Bob's deer heads hanging on the wall, but with a foot hanging there instead.)  "Uh....I wouldn't want to mount my foot....that's just strange.  Maybe I'll just keep it as the skeletal foot."   We then obtained the paperwork and website address to Skulls Unlimited, and called them to obtain more information.

In the phone call, my dear hubby learned all kinds of interesting things.  These people really love their work and go to great lengths to discuss what they do.   Apparently, the process we had been considering for my limb would entail the unleashing of flesh-eating, Dermestid Beetles  (no relation to the guys from Liverpool) in a tank of some sort where the little insects would go to town devouring the flesh of my foot for a week or so.   From what I hear they do a damn good job cleaning straight down to the bone.  (For more info about these little critters, click here.)   For the small price of $800 we could have my bright and shiny, insect-cleaned, bleached, and reassembled bones shipped right to our home within a two week time frame.   Such a deal, hey?     

Option # 3:  Limbis Incineramous
Suffice to say, the thought of millions of insects chomping away at my detached limb did not leave me with a good mental image.   I've spent many-a-summer avoiding bugs of all types....my piggies were way too ticklish.    $800 was a bit steep as well, especially just to entertain my curiosity.

So in the end we just took the easiest measure.....to incinerate the sucker.  To simply leave it up to the good doc and medical folks to send it on its way.   

Before putting our cat Dylan to sleep several years ago, the vet suggested that we could do a fur clipping in memoriam / as a reminder of him (I still have that little baggie in the bottom drawer of my jewelry box.).  For a half-second I thought that might just-as-well clip a few toenails from my right foot to keep in there too.....until I realized that this was getting just plain ridiculous.  

Sometimes the best option is the easiest......to do nothing.   In the end we knew that this limb-o-mine would literally need to bite-the-dust....and functionally, it already had.   I now literally have one foot-in-the-grave..... 

.....and my piggies have gone off to the market for good.